New Year’s Resolution For Me, Slider the Cat


“Slider, have you made a New Year’s Resolution for 2014?”, my owner asked last night. I paused, contemplating my ample belly rolls, and weakly meowed “Yes”.  Maybe dropping a couple pounds by Valentine’s day could be the start of my resolution: to fit under the sofa so that I can catch the laser dot!

How to begin? A cat, by nature, does not walk, run, or do any form of exercise unless motivated by food! It is so misleading, one TINY Fancy Feast Tuna  treat  has 34 calories! Snacks now being my nemesis, I vowed to stick with healthy dry Purina and get regular exercise… chasing the LASER DOT.

Hate to admit it, but I rather enjoy racing after the taunting red light as it darts around the carpet, up the wall, and then under the sofa. It always ends up hiding under furniture in the living room – does it know I am a few pounds too wide to fit?

This new exercise regiment I will fondly call: “Couch to Laser-thin.”

The strategy is:

1. First, stalk the light, tail twitching for maximum calorie burning.

2. Next, pounce using 10 Joules of energy for effect. This causes the laser dot to jolt forward, surprised by the power of the pounce!

3. Finally, race after the demon dot for 20 seconds, building up by 10 second intervals daily.
I promise, you WILL catch it… one of these days!!

(Note to my person: I get annoyed when I cannot catch the laser dot so you may want to have it end up on something I can attack, like a toy or scratching post!)

(Second note: Did you know the Kong Laser Cat toy is only $2.60 on one of my favorite websites:

Yawn, I’ll just play laser on my iPhone, hehe.